Domestic Violence is a pattern of Coercive tactics that can include physical, psychological, sexual, economic, and emotional abuse, perpetrated by one person against an intimate partner, with the goal of establishing and maintaining power and control.

Domestic Violence occurs in all kinds of intimate relationships, including married couples, people who are dating, couples who live together, people with children in common, same-sex partners, people who were formerly in a relationship with the person abusing them, and teen dating relationships.

Abusive behaviors are not symptoms that someone is angry or out of control. An abuser makes a choice to exert power and control over his or her partner. Abusive behaviors include physical, emotional, sexual, social, and financial abuse.

Physical abuse often begins with less violent assaults such as pushing. As the abuse continues, however, it becomes increasingly violent. Abusers often target areas of the body that are usually covered with clothing because the injuries are less likely to be visible to others. Acts of physical abuse include:

• Pushing
• Restraining
• Shaking
• Slapping
• Biting
• Punching
• Kicking
• Throwing objects at the victim
• Target hitting
• Sustained beating
• Abuse planned to cause the victim to miscarry
• Using weapons
• Strangulation
• Homicide

Emotional Abuse

Emotional abuse is a tool used by those who want to make their partners feel scared, crazy, worthless, or responsible for the abuse. The abuser's goal is control over the victim. Emotional abuse may include:

• Making jokes about the victim
• Insults
• Criticizing the victim's competence
• Ignoring the victim's feelings
• Withholding affection as a form of punishment
• Blaming the victim for all problems
• Yelling at the victim
• Humiliating the victim in front of others
• Accusing the victim of being the abusive partner
• Threatening to take the children away from the victim
• Threatening physical violence
• Threatening suicide to punish the victim

Sexual Abuse

Sexual abuse is one of the least discussed, but most common, forms of domestic violence. Sexual abuse includes:

• Sexual jokes that make the victim uncomfortable
• Treating women as sex objects
• Criticizing the victim's sexuality
• Using sexual jealousy as a tool of control
• Uncomfortable or unwanted touch
• Withholding sex as punishment
• Demanding sex
• Flaunting affairs
• Rape
• Sex after beatings
• Forcing the victim to witness or participate in sexual activity with others
• Sexually assaulting the victim in front of the children
• Sexual torture

Social Abuse

Social abuse is used to isolate the victim from others in the community. The fewer people the victim is connected with, the more control the abuser has over the victim. Examples of social abuse include:

• Insisting that the couple spend all their time together
• Discouraging the victim from seeing friends or family
• Forbidding the victim to see friends or family
• Monitoring the victim's mail or phone calls
• Checking the odometer
• Restricting access to the car or car keys
• Telling others the victim is crazy or abusive

Financial Abuse

Abusers often attempt to establish financial control over victims. Victims who are financially dependent on abusers have fewer resources for escape. Financial abuse includes:

• Making all financial decisions for the household
• Keeping financial secrets
• Monitoring the victim's spending
• Controlling the victim's access to cash
• Refusing to let the victim work
• Forcing the victim to turn over income to the abuser

Children and Domestic Violence - Resources

On average, more than three women a day are murdered by their husbands or boyfriends in the United States and women experience two million injuries from intimate partner violence each year. Many of these women are mothers who often go to great and courageous lengths to protect their children from abusive partners. In fact, research has shown that the non-abusing parent is often the strongest protective factor in the lives of children who are exposed to domestic violence. However, growing up in a violent home may be a terrifying and traumatic experience that can affect every aspect of a child's life, growth and development. In spite of this, we know that when properly identified and addressed, the effects of domestic violence on children can be mitigated.

• 15.5 million U.S. children live in families in which partner violence occurred at least once in the past year, and seven million children live in families in which severe partner violence occured.
• The majority of U.S. nonfatal intimate partner victimizations of women (two-thirds) occur at home. Children are residents of the households experiencing intimate partner violence in 43 percent of incidents involving female victims.
• In a single day in 2010, 20,406 children were living in a domestic violence shelter or transitional housing facility. Another 6,592 sought services at a non-residential program.
• The UN Secretary-General's Study on Violence Against Children conservatively estimated that 275 million children worldwide are exposed to violence in the home.

These facts and statistics were taken from the following resources:

1. Intimate Partner Violence in the United States.  2006. U.S. Department of Justice, Bureau of Justice Statistics. Available at  http://www.ojp.usdoj.gov/bjs/intimate/ipv.cfm

2. CDC.  Adverse Health Conditions and Health Risk Behaviors Associated with Intimate Partner Violence.  2008.  Morbidity and Mortality Weekly Report, February 8, 2008. Available at http://www.cdc.gov/mmwr/preview/mmwrhtml/mm5705a1.htm 
3. McDonald, Renee, Ernest N. Jouriles, Suhasini Ramisetty-Mikler, et al. 2006. Estimating the Number of American Children Living in Partner- Violent Families. Journal of Family Psychology 20(1): 137-142. 
4. Intimate Partner Violence in the United States. 2006.  U.S. Department of Justice, Bureau of Justice Statistics.    
5. Domestic Violence Counts 2010: A 24-hour census of domestic violence shelters and services across the United States. 2010. National Network to End Domestic Violence. 
6. Behind Closed Doors: The Impact of Domestic Violence on Children. 2006. The United Nations Children’s Fund (UNICEF), Available at http://www.unicef.org.nz/advocacy/publications/UNICEF_Body_Shop_Behind_Closed_Doors.pdf   
 

FAMILY ABUSE PROTECTION ACT ORDERS

The law offers the protection of Family Abuse Protection Act (FAPA) orders to victims of domestic violence, whether or not a victim has reported the abuse to the police. A FAPA order is free, and a victim does not need an attorney to get one, although an attorney is recommended if an abuser contests the order.

FAPA orders are available in every county in Oregon. Once issued, a FAPA order is effective for one year unless the court terminates or extends the order.

The court must hold a hearing, by telephone or in person, the day or the day after a victim files for a FAPA order.

A sheriff or another qualified person must serve the abuser with a copy of the order. After the abuser receives it he has 30 days to ask for a hearing, which must be held within 21 days of that request (5 days if a child is involved). The judge may change or cancel the order based on information received at the hearing. Changes in custody or visitation rights may be requested at any time while the order is in effect.

Police must enforce FAPA orders. An abuser who violates a FAPA order can be jailed for up to six months and fined up to $300.

If a victim and an abuser later divorce, and the provisions of the divorce decree are different from the provisions of the FAPA order, the divorce decree will take precedence.It is important to remember that a FAPA order does not guarantee safety. If you are a victim of domestic violence contact an advocate to make a safety plan.

Who Can Obtain a FAPA Order?

A victim of domestic violence is eligible to obtain a FAPA order if she meets the following criteria:

• She was the victim of abuse within the past six months; or she was the victim of abuse more than six months ago, and the abuser has been in prison or jail or has lived more than 100 miles from her in the past six months;
• And The abuse was bodily injury, or attempted bodily injury, or the threat of immediate serious bodily injury, or sexual abuse, or rape;
• And She is related to or intimately involved with the abuser--that is, she is the abuser's wife or former wife, or the abuser's in-law or relative, or is in a sexually intimate relationship with the abuser, or is the biological co-parent (with the abuser) of a minor child;
• And She is at least 18 years old, is an "emancipated" minor, or is younger than 18 but married to or sexually intimate with an abuser who is 18 or older.

What a FAPA Order Can Do

A FAPA order can:

• Require an abuser to stop abusing, threatening, or interfering with a victim and with children in her custody;
• Forbid an abuser to enter a victim's home, school, place of business, or other specified place;
• Order an abuser out of the home if a victim is sole or part owner of the home;
• Require police to stand guard while the person leaving the home removes personal belongings;
• Give a victim temporary legal custody of the children if the children are in her physical custody or, if they are not, grant her visitation rights.

Additional Resources:

Oregon Law Help

Women's Law

An index of Oregon service providers and shelters can be found on the top right of this page. Call to connect with an advocate in your area who can help you explore a safety plan.