Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Queer and Questioning Communities

All too often, the Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Queer and Questioning (LGBTQ) communities has been ignored, or had to deal with violence externally and internally, without positive recognition, support and literature that is easily accessible. To this end, OCADSV will continue to support and recognize the community.

Domestic violence can occur in any relationship regardless of race, ethnicity, religion, socioeconomic class, sexual orientation, etc. Knowing this, it is also important for us to recognize that women/men from certain groups will face additional barriers. While cultural differences are important to recognize when dealing with battering they must never be used to excuse or deny the abuse.

Barriers to Survivors in LGBTQ Relationships

There are a number of stereotypes about the Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Queer and Questioning Communities, including:

• Domestic violence does not exist in the LGBTQ community.
• In same sex relationships, the abuser is the more "butch" or the bigger person.
• Abuse or "Rough" sex is a part of who they are.
• In same sex relationships, partners are more likely to be mutually combative and abusive.

Some additional barriers to be aware of are:

• Homophobia and Transphobia in the protective systems, including hospitals, police courts, social services, and shelters or crisis lines.
• Fear that children will be taken away
• Fear of being "outed" at work, with family, or with friends.
• Fear of losing job
• Fear of not being believed about the abuse
• Fear of losing community, especially if they are a person of color, a parent, or a rural person.
• Lack of resources and information regarding same sex or queer battering.
• Fear of making community look "bad"
• Lack of information about laws and resources concerning same sex domestic violence.
• Lack of trust based on historical experience in this state and country
• Attitudes and stereotypes about the prevalence of domestic violence in the LGBTQ communities.
• Heightened sense of shame and self-blame for the abuse

Definitions: There is a great diversity within the LGBTQ community and like other cultures, it has it's own jargon, slang, and lingo. It's important to keep in mind that not everyone in the LGBTQ community uses the following terms, agrees with all of them, or uses them the same way.

Gender Identify: A person's internal sense or feeling of being masculine or feminine. Gender expression relates to how a person presents his or her sense of gender to the larger society. Gender identity may or may not be the same as the biological sex of the person.

Lesbian: A women who is attracted sexually, emotionally, and/or physically to other women.

Gay: A man who is attracted sexually, emotionally, and/or physically to other men. This term is sometimes used to include both men and women.

Heterosexual/Straight: A person who is sexually and emotionally attracted to someone of the opposite sex.

Heterosexism: An assumption that everyone is or should be heterosexual, and heterosexuality is superior to all other sexual oientations.

Homophobia: Fear, dislike, or hatred of homosexuality in others. Often exhibit by prejudice, discrimination, bullying or acts of violence.

Outing: Public disclosure of another person's sexual orientation or gender identity without the person's knowledge or permission. It can be dangerous.

Transphopia: The systematic oppresion of transgendered people because they do not fit society's expectations of what men and women are suppose to act like and look like.

Transgender: A person who identify more strongly with the other gender than the one they have been assigned. Women who feel like men or men who feel like women are transgender. Transgender people may identify as queer, heterosexual, homesexual, bisexual, pansexual or asexual.

Some transgendered people may categorized themselves as transexuals, cross-dressers, transvesites, androgynes, genderqueer, people who live cross-gender, drag kings, and drag queens.

Two-Spirit (also two spirit or twospirit) is a term for third gender people (for example, woman-living-man) that are among many, if not most, Native American and Canadian First Nations tribes. It usually implies a masculine spirit and a feminine spirit living in the same body. It is also used by some contemporary gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, and intersex Native Americans to describe themselves. There are also native terms for these individuals in the various Native American languages.

The older term "berdache" is a generic term used primarily by anthropologists, and is frequently rejected as inappropriate and offensive by Native Americans. These individuals are often viewed as having two spirits occupying one body. Their dress is usually a mixture of traditionally male and traditionally female articles. They have distinct gender and social roles in their tribes.

Queer: Historically a negative term for homosexuality. Recently the LGBT movement has reclaimed the word to refer to itself, and is popularly used by the LGBTQ youth as a positive way to refer to themselves, is preferred because of its inclusiveness.

Questioning: A person who does not yet know their sexual orientation or gender identity, and may be at a period in their life when they are exploring who they are.